I hope you had a beautiful week.
I want to bring to your attention a very unusual warning sign that creeps up in relationships; Irritation. Irritation is a good indicator of trouble because it is almost impossible to hide or fake, so the moment it rears its ugly head you know there are issues to tackle.
We all know that when things are good, everything your partner does is cute and/or sexy. That morning kiss before brushing, burping or sneezing without covering their mouths, or even farting used to put a smile on your face which would normally lead to playful yabbing. “don’t kiss me too much with your dirty mouth jor” or “this your mess nawa o.” These are statements that we have either heard or said at some point.
Being real in a relationship is totally important but we have to be ready for what we see when we eventually get married.
Sometimes, the contrast from before marriage to after marriage can be totally shocking but all man must adjust. The real test of love will present itself when “you finally see your partner finish”. When you smell their morning breath, hear their machine gun farts (or nearly faint from the silent and deadly ones), sleep through the snoring, etc.
That fateful day may come when you start getting irritated by all these things that didn’t bother you before and then you start “complaining or nagging”. What you do at this point will either make or break your relationship. If you do not realize that the sudden irritation you feel towards your partner is a warning sign or symptom of something bigger, then you will not be able to investigate and find a solution. The irritation may keep building and, eventually lead to the end of the relationship. My hope is that this article will make you sensitive to these irritations and enable you take the right actions to quell them.
So, what are the causes of these irritations?
-Unwarranted comparisons and subconscious attractions to other people or to the way they do things; this is something that no one can really control, it happens all the time. If your partner chews with their mouth open and you didn’t care before, the day you see another person you find attractive eating and chewing in a different way that appeals to you is the day that you start getting irritated with the way your partner eats.
Also, as most married couples see and live with their partners, they get the real version not the packaged version, so when they see another packaged version outside that is their “spec”, the tendency is for them to be attracted. Although, they may not act on it, the seed would have been planted, irritation and impatience may begin to manifest towards their own partners. The list of examples is endless. I am sure you already get my point.
Nobody is 100% perfect, you knew this already when you started dating and/or married your partner so when you start getting irritated by these things, do not take it out on them.
- Some of our partners’ habits can actually be irritating, so now that you can see it clearly, take the time to LOVINGLY correct and help them improve on it. Talk to them about it so they are aware that this particular thing/act is not something you are fond of. To be very clear, you are not giving ultimatums or forcing them to change.
- Ignore the irritation and get over it by focusing on the positive qualities of your partner. The way your wife cracks chicken bone is hardly an issue that should damage a loving relationship but without proper understanding, it can.
- Go out more often with your partner. Most men see how their wives take so much time making up and dressing up to work every morning and how quickly they undress, wash off their make up and wear hair nets as soon as they get home. They do not get to enjoy the ‘packaged’ version of their wives, instead other man in their offices get to see them and wish their wives are like that- beautifully dressed and made up. Very Ironic! Make arrangements to hang out with your spouses from time to time; go see a movie or go dancing. Do not let the most recurring image of you in your partners head be that of you in singlet and boxers or wrapper with shower cap on your head.
- Most importantly, try not to make comparisons to your partner as it almost always leads to trouble. Keep your eyes open for any sudden irritations you feel towards your partner and find a positive solution to it.
As always, all relationships are different and the contents of this article are meant to act as a guide. I would love to read your comments on this topic, please take a moment to drop your 2 cents.
Have a lovely weekend ahead. Dress up nicely and go out with your partner. 🙂