One major relationship goal to have is to “keep the passion alive”. This may be easier said than done though. Romance, Passion and Desire may eventually fade away as you grow old with your spouse. The right foundation for a relationship is love and friendship and that is what will remain when all the fireworks are gone.So, how many years is acceptable for passion to last before it begins to fade and how long does the fading process last before it reaches zero? These are really good questions and there really is no direct answer for either of them because it’s all relative. Personally, I would say as long as you are physically fit and God has blessed you with health, there should be no excuse for the passion in your relationship to be dead. Anyway, keep reading to see some of the major causes of the death of passion and some tips on how you may revive it.
Friends or Lovers? Spouses or Room Mates? Ignite The Passion!!
Predictable daily routines and boring romance: I will not go too deep into this because I have already discussed it in an earlier post that you can read here. However, be aware that introducing something unusual and spicy into your routine can reignite lost or dying passion.
Pride: As silly as it sounds, some men and women are too proud to make the first move. Never be too proud to “beg” for what you want/need. I feel clear communication is very vital to the health of a passionate relationship. Women should be clear with their partners when turning down their sexual advances so that you do not bruise their egos and make them feel rejected. Also, men should be more understanding. With this said, let me also stress that women should not get into the habit of turning down their man or giving excuses otherwise the man will stop asking and find an alternative. If you turn down your husband tonight because you are tired, make sure you pounce on him tomorrow. I believe that a relationship with 2 initiators will be more passionate than 1. Women should not feel ashamed, proud or shy to make a move on their man. He is your husband already and, asides this fact, men like it…………a lot.
Miscommunication: This happens quite often when two people in a relationship have completely different preferences and ideas of love and romance. You might think you are expressing feelings of love or giving signals for something romantic but the other person is completely oblivious to it. You need to educate your partner on these signals so that communication is smooth- “Baby, if I rub my hand across your back like this it means ………..” or better still, ask- “do you like it when i touch you here, there, anywhere.”
Also, there are 5 love languages- Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, and Quality Time. You need to pay attention to what your spouse likes the most and not what you like the most. For you, receiving gifts may rank high on the love language list but your partner may just enjoy quality time.
Anger and Resentment: Unforgiveness is a real passion killer. How can you be romantic with someone you are still upset with? It is not easy at all, in fact it is near impossible. You will always have disagreements with your partner, you may even have screaming contests (do not go physical o!), just make sure that you settle all issues completely and move forward together, as soon as possible. Do not be angry with your spouse until the following day, it is not wise and can lead to a quicker death of the passion in your relationship. The more the anger is prolonged, the more issues are added and before you know it, the real reason you were angry, in the first place, becomes misplaced, other issues start to surface or re-surface. Agree to disagree and apologize if you have to. Resentment in a relationship is like cancer and if discovered too late, becomes a death sentence.
Make sure you settle/trash out/discuss all issues as they occur and move on. You know the saying about little foxes? “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!” Disagreements, quarrels and misunderstandings are little foxes.
Date Night: Set apart specific days or nights that you will have some yet to be determined fun with your partner. You need to set aside time to develop your connection and have fun together. Irony of marriage is that you spend less quality time with your spouse when you live under the same roof. When you were still dating, there was a stronger connection and more quality communication/interaction. Time has to be set apart to play together, laugh and have fun together, this will develop your emotional connection and improve sexual intimacy. In order to have fun in the bedroom, you must first be able to have fun outside the bedroom.
Fitness: Don’t “let go”, don’t “give up” on your appearance. Always take time to work on your body. I am not only referring to make up or dress sense here, you need to take care of your body too. Get your pot belly in check, work on those love handles, stay in shape and healthy. A healthy diet and lifestyle also boosts intimacy and sexual desire. Nobody wants to wake up one day and look at their spouse like “this isn’t who I married”. Make up your mind to do something about it and i can guarantee that you would be pleasantly surprised.
These are just some of the key things that can lead to the death of passion in your relationship and I hope the tips listed will also help in avoiding them and/or helping to restore the lost or fading passion in your own relationship.
Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this article, please share any tips that I might have missed below in the comments or just feel free to say “hey!”, I love reading comments.