Warning Signs – Boredom

Hello everyone, I hope you had a great weekend and yes, you read the topic correctly, we are talking about boredom in relationships. This is more common than you realize and it is absolutely normal. I would say this issue is more common in marriage than in normal dating relationships. People just break up with their partners when they get bored while dating but in a marriage where breaking up is not an option, how do you identify and deal with boredom?

So what is boredom exactly?

Identifying boredom is not as easy as you think because there is still a lot of activity going on. The problem is that the activity is the same old same old and not particularly interesting any more, it now feels like you are going through the motions. You and your partner found a routine that worked and you basically stuck to it. You have your weekday patterns, evening meals are set up, weekends are usually one thing or the other. The system works, you guys designed it after all, so what is the problem? You got too comfortable.

There is a reason no one wants to hear spoilers from a movie they are planning to go see. Once you know the major plot and the way events occur, the excitement is gone and the movie is no more fun to watch.

Comfort is lovely and really nice but comfort almost always leads to boredom. When you fall into routines and patterns, you feel comfortable but after a short while you realize that there is no excitement as things have become predictable. You begin to yearn for excitement elsewhere and more often than not that journey always ends up in trouble.

Love and boredom are not connected in anyway. Becoming bored in your relationship does not mean you love your partner less, it is just a sign that you need to make some urgent changes to keep things fresh and alive. 

Before marriage, we all heard the “one channel for life” jokes, I even cracked it a few times with my friends but as funny as it may sound, that joke is so true and can help with getting you in the right frame of mind to avoid boredom in your relationship. One channel in the joke refers to being with only one person for the rest of your life but in this context I am saying do not be like CNN or MTV to your partner where all you have to offer is either music or news. Try to diversify your programs to keep the viewers entertained. I hope you understand my analogy.

So how can we ensure boredom is not present in our relationships?

Always give your partner 100% attention, make sure you listen and hear them at all times. This really helps when buying gifts because you will be able to get them what they need or really want. They will be so pleased with your gifts because it will show them that you actually listened.

You can also surprise them some times by taking them to dinner or a movie or even going on a weekend get-away from the usual home stress. This is really up to you but the idea is to be sweet and to do something nice for your partner when they least expect it. It does not have to be a gift or something you buy with money. An example is for a husband to wake up earlier on a Saturday morning and clean the house, make breakfast and let his wife have a lazy morning. It is sweet and unexpected and she will appreciate it especially if she had a busy and tiring week.

You do not have to go out of character to keep your man or your woman happy. Instead of being a one trick pony or a one channel station, try to mix it up with some welcome variety. This can be successfully applied in every aspect of your relationship. In the bedroom, do not be boring and lazy, try to spice things up often. At the kitchen too, get some fresh new recipes to spice up your meals, take it to the next level. Even the way you converse should be updated and refreshed from time to time. Some people don’t even try at all and talking with them becomes predictable after a short while. This shouldn’t be the case at all for a relationship to remain healthy. All this can be achieved without being fake or acting. You are still being yourself, just expressed differently. Drinking coke from the bottle is all well and good but sometimes pouring it into a glass with some ice and lemon makes the same coke seem new and refreshing.

In conclusion, I will say boredom is like high blood pressure. It is a silent killer and should be handled before it becomes an issue. Like I said earlier, love and boredom have no business together and this is what makes it hard to detect. Make conscious effort to spice up your relationship and ensure that boredom never becomes an issue. Hold on to your routine but make sure you spice it up to rekindle the excitement you felt when you were courting/dating. Every relationship is different but the message is clear: boredom in your relationship can be avoided by consciously working on it.

Thanks for reading and please drop your comments on this topic. Have you experienced boredom in a relationship before? How did you deal with it and did you overcome it? Please share. 🙂

About 'Joyin

‘Joyin is an experienced Professional Accountant. She loves her career as an accountant and hopes to improve the accounting profession with values such as Integrity and Objectivity. She trained as a professional make up artist at House of Tara, International. 'Joyin is also a wife to a fantastic man. This blog is a lifestyle blog which features Life Stories, Fictional stories, articles about make up and other topics that are of interest. Contributions from other writers and bloggers are welcome, as well. If you would like to contribute to this cause by sharing some useful articles, advice and tips, please mail mojoyin[at]arewa-ng[dot]com ‘Joyin looks forward to reading from you.

7 thoughts on “Warning Signs – Boredom

  1. One man’s meat……. Some couples are perfectly fine with routines,they depend on them to function properly. Yes,boredom does creep on a lot if not cautious but only works if both parties are readily open to change.

  2. Boredom can be experienced in any relationship no matter how sweet that relationship is. As humans, you can’t help it but the decision to turn it around is yours to make. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you can make it enjoyable for each other. Take for instance, a couple who have been together for so long can decide to add jogging and walking as part of their weekly routine, by so doing enjoying each others company. There is no way you won’t chat and gist along in that process with the benefits one gets from such walks. The longer you stay in a relationship the merrier, couples tend to enjoy each others company as they get older. A man who normally won’t be caught in the kitchen would begin to do so by helping his wife get some chores done. Nothing stops him from offering to help, this boost the communication between both. Calling your partners during the day to check on them is another way of telling them that you care and miss them, its not only at night that you show care (if you understand what i mean !!)

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