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Loveless HomeMy name is Pauline and I am a twin. My twin sister, whom I am older than by 17 minutes, is Paula. She is considered the last born. We are not identical at all, she is much prettier than me. I was born with club foot which makes me even less attractive.

Growing up, I had the worst experience as I was constantly laughed at and my twin did not make matters any better for me. I always felt alone. I still feel alone.

Sadly, the woman we call “mother” does not love me, she constantly puts me down and compares me to my sister, from looks to grades to behavior and every aspect you can think of. She tells me that I am a failure. Everything that my twin wants she gets, this is not the same for me.

Many times I feel like committing suicide, I regret the day I was born. I feel like a failure, I have no one, no friends or family. Please don’t reject me too. Please tell me what you think I should do. Now, I understand that arrangements are made for my twin to further her education abroad. Shouldn’t it be the both of us? Is it my fault that I was born with a deformity? Can’t I just be loved, can’t I be accepted? All this hate has made me a very sad person and I am worried I may hurt myself soon. Please, help me.

RESPONSE:

Dear Pauline,

I would like you to take one minute to absolutely appreciate yourself. EVERY WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL, you may not have the looks or body structure of your twin sister, a super model or the average video vixen, but you MUST always love yourself unreservedly because you are a queen.

Although one’s environment, especially the immediate, plays a major role in shaping and building a person’s self-esteem, it usually starts from within, from you. From the tone of your message I can tell that you are fed up of the situation and I know it is time to effect a change. You have to start with yourself, purge your mind off every negative word and fill it with positive words. Constantly tell yourself, “I am beautiful.”, “I am intelligent.”, etc. Even if you do not believe it now, you would. You will not only believe it, you will be it.

You didn’t tell me your age but I’ll assume you are in your early twenties. You are young and have a wonderful life ahead of you. This is the time for you to build a strong and resilient woman who can never ever be talked down by anyone.  First, stop all forms of comparison. You may be a twin but you are not the same person. Your strong points are not her strong points. Focus on what makes you Pauline and harness it. You were born for a reason which you have to discover and achieve, so please do not regret being you. Tell your mother how her condemnations make you feel, it is possible she doesn’t think them through. If she does not listen to you, still focus on you. Put all the sad energy into achieving goals. When those who put you down see you succeeding, they will be humbled.

Your world should not be determined by what others think of you, even though support goes a long way, what a person becomes is entirely up to them. Unfortunately you have been surrounded by the wrong kind of vibe for a very long time. Make a decision today to live above spiteful comments. Read inspirational books to build your esteem and rid you of all forms of inferiority complex.

Sweetheart, life is too short to let insecurities take the best of us and turn us into sadists. In the end what we have is our souls, we should guard it jealously to keep it good and beautiful. You are beautiful in every single way no matter what you have heard. Let NO ONE bring you down anymore.

Cheers! 🙂

OLLA OFFIA

Image: Google

About 'Joyin

‘Joyin is an experienced Professional Accountant. She loves her career as an accountant and hopes to improve the accounting profession with values such as Integrity and Objectivity. She trained as a professional make up artist at House of Tara, International. ‘Joyin is also a wife to a fantastic man.

This blog is a lifestyle blog which features Life Stories, Fictional stories, articles about make up and other topics that are of interest.

Contributions from other writers and bloggers are welcome, as well.
If you would like to contribute to this cause by sharing some useful articles, advice and tips, please mail mojoyin[at]arewa-ng[dot]com

‘Joyin looks forward to reading from you.

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